Focus Word of the Year
We all start hearing about goals and resolutions the day after Christmas. It seems we are eager to put the excesses of the holidays behind us and clear out, shape up, and get focused! I don't do resolutions, but I do take time to review my goals and make adjustments now and then. January is the perfect time to reevaluate when everything feels as fresh and new as my calendar. It's taken me nearly a month to determine my Focus Word of the year but I've finally got it: BALANCE.
What is a Focus Word?
My lovely friend Deanna at Mirabelle Creations lettered this graphic for me as a daily reminder.
I first learned about the concept of having a “focus word” from my blogger friend Miranda at The Reluctant Cowgirl. You can see her focus words for the last few years here. I don't know about you but I get bogged down in so many goals and projects and to do's that I'm not even sure where to start sometimes. Or other times I focus on areas that aren't ultimately important.
If you've never heard of the concept of a focus word I'll explain. It's a word or phrase you choose early to guide your decision making for the year. It should be something that makes you happier, healthier, or whole. Keep it in the forefront of your mind and take another look at those goals with a new perspective. Do your goals support your focus word? Or do you need to make some changes?
How Do you Come up With it?
Find this beautiful necklace and many other inspirational styles at Boho Luxe Designs on Etsy.
As I sit down and look at my goals, not just for my business but for my family, my health, and personal life, I look for themes. Being more efficient. Getting more done. Sticking to a better schedule. Adding in this. Fitting in that. I realized that I was tapped out in EVERY. SINGLE. CATEGORY. Instead of cutting things out I was trying to figure out how to squeeze in just a little bit more.
I didn't realize HOW out of balance things had gotten until this Christmas. I ALMOST missed the entire season when I agreed to a couple of big projects. Looking back, I'm glad for the opportunities, happy I was forced to create winter content I'd previously lacked, but I will NEVER do that again! Christmas lacked a little of the magic because I was just too tired. In the end my mom is the one who suggested “balance” as my focus word for this year and it couldn't be more perfect. Don't you hate when your Mom is ALWAYS right!? But I'm so grateful for her wisdom!!
Time for Self Reflection
A struggling friend asked me a while ago my what the problems were in my seemingly perfect life. I had interestingly enough just discussed my challenges with the hubs the night before and without thinking blurted out the conclusion: I have too many good things in my life. The moment it left my lips I regretted the heartless statement. Telling someone who's depressed and anxious that your life is just too good to handle is about the most idiotic thing I could've said. So I want to clarify for my dear sweet friend and any others who may be struggling that beneath every “perfect” life is a messed up person trying to do their best!
Hi, I'm Bri and I'm a Recovering Perfectionist….
I may not have to attend meetings but the curse of perfectionism is real. Nothing is ever good enough. No amount of external validation is enough. As a recovering perfectionist I fight the comparison trap on a daily basis. I work to find INTERNAL motivation and pride in a job well done. Instead of perfection. But in the quest of self-improvement, I tend to stack my plate. I am:
- A business owner and blogger
- Volunteer with the youth at my church
- On the board of a professional organization
- Working on my Master's Degree ever so slowly
- A wife and a mother to three beautiful children
- A daughter of God
- And sometimes remember to take care of myself
Taken one at a time each one of these things is an incredible blessing but when you add them up it takes an incredible amount of energy and balance to sustain. Balance that I seem to have lost.
Share in My Failures
I want to share some moments I've recorded this past year. This is not my finest hour, but I want you to see that I am real. I am flawed. And together we can do this thing. It not only take a village to raise a child, but also to run a business!
Mom Fail
Could you say no to this face!? Enjoying a cookie from our Big Game Kickoff Football Party.
The work at home mom has an especially tricky time balancing a schedule between accomplishing to-do's AND being present for your children. As I reread an incident I recorded from a few months ago it brings tears to my eyes.
“Because I work from home it seems the job is never ending. No clock to punch. No vacations or sick days. Being a mother is very much the same. The smaller your littles, the more intensely they require your attention.
When my kids are home from school I strive to put work away and be present. It doesn't always happen but I am mindful. Today I had something I hadn't quite finished and was hurriedly working away so my son and I could watch a show together he wanted to share. Waiting a little impatiently he starts telling a story as I'm editing photos for my blog. But several times he bumped my arm, each time negating the photo edit of the moment. I asked him to stop touching me explaining that it messed me up. Unable to stop himself it happened yet again and I told him a more forcefully to stop touching me. With a dejected voice he told me. “Ok, I'll just go away.” {Cue mom's heart breaking} He doesn't understand that I can multitask. I can edit photos AND listen to his story. Or is it he that understands all too well that with only half an ear I'm only get half the story. I am missing the heart of the story told through flitting emotions crossing his face as he excitedly tells me his latest scheme for a hideout.”
I have resorted to staying up late into the night to try and compensate and be more PRESENT. It's 1:03am as I write this very sentence. That works for a little while, but it's not sustainable. How good does the day go when I'm exhausted? You can probably guess I have zero patience and my toddler feeds off my negative energy like a Harry Potter dementor until we are both in tears. Balance is about putting what's IMPORTANT ahead of the urgent.
[clickToTweet tweet=”Focus Word: BALANCE puts the important ahead of the urgent” quote=”Balance is about putting the important ahead of the urgent.”]
Nutrition fail
Last summer with all three kids at home 100% of the time was really tough to juggle. I was able to let go some of the work and reduce my posting schedule to once a week when things really got crazy. But what I really let go of was food. Now I've never been a cook and most of the time I get very little enjoyment from eating beyond fueling my body. Don't get me wrong. I love food. Good food, healthy food, fresh food? Sign me up and deliver it to my house. I stopped grocery shopping between weekend trips cause the food just went bad. So we often ended up in the drive through.
I was brought to tears as I watched a documentary regarding the dangers of GMOs and how sick our food system has become, realizing I am part of the problem. I know better than that, I was raised to know better. Very little of the information was new to me but it was a good reminder. I have forgotten somewhere along the way to take care of myself, and in the process let my busi-ness come between my children's health! To me that is unthinkable! I'm ashamed to think how selfish I've been and am vowing to make a change. I may not be able to eat 100% organic foods or cut all of the chemicals completely from my life but I can get back to the place I used to be. It was a much more aware and healthier path. Balance is about being intentional. Yes, we will still eat out, but I plan to start cooking at home a little more often.
[clickToTweet tweet=”Focus Word: BALANCE is about being intentional” quote=”Balance is about being intentional.”]
Looking to the Future
Wear any word you choose with custom hand stamped necklace from Lime Green Modern
I look forward to this year with optimism and renewed faith in myself. We are making changes. Slowly. But they are happening. I haven't spoken a single word about goals for my business, how I plan to grow my following, or what kind of incentives I need to offer. I have them. Pages of them. But right now I am focusing on getting myself back to my family with faith that the business will fall in line. Thank you focus word.
Share Our Successes
I'm sure none of you have issues with balance right? {cue sarcasm} I would love to hear about your focus word and if/how it changed your perspective. I also want to know when you are rocking your goals this year! You can stay in touch with me and see some of the positive things going with Halfpint Design on social media. If you don't follow me yet, I'd love to connect with you so we can be part of the “village” together. You can check it out here:
Until next time,
I picked a word last year (diligence) but I truly haven’t thought about it this year yet…. I feel your pain in wanting to be present with the kids and wanting to have a business of your own. I think that’s why I put the business on the slow burner until now that the kids are older. They always need us though. But now I can have them involved in what I do also and that’s precious! But remember, they’ll never be this small again… when they go you’ll never regret having spent the time with them. And I work late too. It’s almost midnight 🙂
Oh how I love this Bri – I’m working on the balance part now too and crossing my fingers that I can get my kids on board sooner rather than later in helping do their part in picking up. I’m not able to be as present as I want to be if I’m working on projects during the day and taking time out of my work hours to pick up the house. But, each day the routine changes a bit and I know I’ll get there – one step at a time 🙂
Bri I love that you touched on this subject ! I am struggling with the same issues my dear. The Mom guilt, the overworking and feeling like I’m exhausted to do anything else and more ! I can say that we are not perfect as moms and we are trying to figure it one day at a time sweetie. We just have to figure out what works even if it’s temporary and keep adjusting as we go! Sending you hugs and positive vibes. We got this
Bri, I totally understand the feeling!! I am a perfectionist myself and the struggle is real!! Thanks for sharing your thoughts.. it really helped me a lot!!
I love this Bri! The focus phrase Finding Balance is such a great reminder. That is wonderful how you have identified several areas where you wish to create more balance as you move through this new year. And I hear ya on the perfectionism struggle…it is real! Thanks for sharing my post. And as always, your site is so beautiful:)
I actually picked the word balance a few years ago and sadly failed that one miserably. I have since learned that I just need to do what I can and that sometimes my best is all I can also do. But still I am a work in progress. But I do wish you luck with this this year and hope you have a bit better luck than I, myself did on this one word now.